Maryland Crab Cakes

*My friend, Shan, told me this after I posted this recipe on Facebook (Thanks, Shan!):

A little known fact that you may find interesting. My neighbor is a crabber and catches his crabs from the San Bernard River, Brazos River and the surrounding bays [in Texas]. At the end of the day he catches  between 1000 and 2000 pounds of crab which a refrigerated truck delivers to the Intercontinental Airport [in Houston] and they are flown to Maryland. People from all over the world can order a fresh Maryland Blue crab but only a few people know they come from Brazoria County.

My mouth waters for crabcakes anytime I’m anticipating a visit from my father-in-law from Maryland. The last time he was in town, he did not disappoint. Here is his secret recipe:

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

2 lb. lump crab meat (backfin)

2 eggs

2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

2 T. Old Bay

2-4 T. mayonnaise

2 T. mustard

12-15 crackers

Oil for frying

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Heat about one inch deep amount of oil in a skillet to frying temperature. Pat the crab meat dry with paper towels. Mix eggs, Worcestershire sauce, and Old Bay together in a bowl. In a separate bowl, add half of the crab meat, half of the egg mixture, half of the mayonnaise, and half of the mustard. Mix and add additional Old Bay to taste.

This is my father-in-law (below). We call him Pop. Ducky calls him Pop Pop.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

 Add the remaining crab meat, egg mixture, mayonnaise, and mustard. Mix well and add additional Old Bay to taste.

Use a rolling pin to finely crush crackers.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Add crackers to crab mixture and mix with your hands. Make palm-sized cakes.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Fry them babies up until golden brown.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

I like to sprinkle mine with extra Old Bay before they cool.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Printable recipe:

Maryland Crab Cakes

Baconlube: It’s Real!

You’re welcome, bishes!

For the same price it would cost to buy a slab of bacon, fry it, and pour the grease on your junk! It now comes ready to use and burn free. (I’m really only assuming it’s burn free.)

Baconlube!! pachomp.com

 

Click the picture to get lubed.

Margaritaville Mixed Drink Machine

If you’re coming to my house to party, you can expect lots of mixed drinks and lots of shots. The men can drink their Bud Light and whiskey, but I like the girls to have a good time, so I cater to my girlfriends. Bunch of sexy slushes, they are. ;)

I found this amazing contraption and it looks perfect for us slushes out there!

Mixed Drink Machine! pachomp.com

It seems to be a time saver, too! I can add the liquor and three mixers in the containers and let my guests pick their own concoction.

It’s prepared to mix rum, vodka, or tequila. Here are the rum drinks:

Mixed Drink Machine! pachomp.com

The tequila drinks:

Mixed Drink Machine! pachomp.com

My favorite, the vodka drinks:

Mixed Drink Machine! pachomp.com

You can even pick normal or strong!!! Knowing my girlfriends, my mixer would stay on strong.

Mixed Drink Machine! pachomp.com

There is also a button that will roll the dice and pick a random drink for you.

Mixed Drink Machine! pachomp.com

Click on any of the pictures above to buy one for me and my girlfriends.

Also, I’m not getting paid for telling you about this product. I just want  you to buy me one.

Apple Pie Moonshine

And now for the recipe you’ve been waiting for….

Apple Pie Moonshine

Apple Pie Moonshine

Cheese cloth

20 cinnamon sticks

1 gal. apple juice

4 ½ L. apple cider (unsweetened)

4 c. brown sugar

1 sm. bottle vanilla extract

1 T. nutmeg

1 ½ L. Everclear (190 proof)

12 Mason jars

 Wrap about 8 cinnamon sticks in a piece of cheese cloth and tie the ends together to make a packet. In a large pot, mix packet and all other ingredients (except the Everclear) and bring to a boil. Boil for 15 minutes. Let the mixture cool to room temperature. Once completely cooled, stir in the Everclear. Add one cinnamon stick to each Mason jar. Pour moonshine into mason jars and hand tighten the lids. Let the jars sit in a cool place for about two weeks for best results. The shelf life is one year. Serve cold.

This recipe was given to me by a friend/coworker we call “Cuz”. Thanks, Cuz!!

Printable Recipe:

Apple Pie Moonshine

Bud’s Fried Ribs

Line up, ladies. My brother is single and he can cook! He can also use decent grammar if he tries, but I copied these directions from an email he sent to me. Not knowing I was going to cut and paste it verbatim, he didn’t worry about shit like punctuation or spelling. My commentary is in red. Here goes….

Fried Ribs 001

rule number one. Keep Troy away from the frying pan. lol!  Our friend, Troy, doesn’t follow directions.

Idk let me see if i can remember everything. seasoning is really to the cookers choice.i dont know all the details i just wing it mane!!! i usually use meat tenderizer and seasoning salt. put seasoning before you put in the BBQ pit.

This is Bud (below) in the blue.

Fried Ribs 010

charcoal or wood is good. smoke at 350 degrees wrapped in aluminum foil for approximately 3 1/2 hrs. if ribs are cooked to tender makes hard to handle when cutting up and battering them. they usualy fall apart. you want them to stay hole.  so if you pull out a little early its ALL GOOD!!! LOL!!! you want the BONE IN THE MEAT STILL!!!. That’s what she said.

Fried Ribs 009

while cooking the ribs you can prep the batter and milk and eggs. im not sure about the ratio of milk to egg i just eyeball it and it depends on how many ribs we gonna be cooking. 

Fried Ribs 007

with the flour i add my seasoning salt. (mmmm just made me think of adding some BROWN SUGAR to it. try it next time) 

Fried Ribs 008

but idk how much to add i just add the seasoning salt until i see a color i like between the flour and the seasoning salt. call it soul food cooking.  soul food cooking dont use no measuring cups. Yup! Just like our Grandma taught us!

Fried Ribs 012

after pulling them off the cooker i let them cool for a litte bit so i can cut them up individually and dip them in the milk and egg batter them( batter twice for a crisperer rib.  and toss them in the grease for approximately 2 to 3 minutes or until a golden color. grease has to be frying temp.

Fried Ribs 006

try to cook one rib first to see how it cooks and judge aprroximate timing so you dont mess up a hole batch of ribs. 

That’s Troy (below) pretending he’s listening to how not to add too many ribs at once.

Fried Ribs 011

let me know if there is any questions about anything that i might have left out. you can find some good recipes on the interenet if you need exact amount of ingredients and stuff.

Stand back, bishes, that’s my husband, Babafa, (below) doing what he does best. 

Fried Ribs 005

That wraps up his email on how to make fried ribs. It’s a process and it helps to have a wingman, especially if you’re frying up a couple of racks, but the outcome is outstanding.

Fried Ribs 001

We served this with a mean pot of pinto beans, some cold potato salad, and a hearty helping of Shame on You Dirty Rice.

Here are some recipes I found for the “exact amount of ingredients and stuff“:

Cajun Fried Ribs

Fried Ribs!

Deep Fried Ribs

Ducky the Tightwad

This kid has been bogarting every penny he has seen since he can remember. The money is from birthdays, good grades, a lemonade stand, yard work, etc.

Every time he impregnated a piggy bank, I put it away in the top of his closet and bought him a new one to fill. Here he is after we busted out the loot.

Life Savings

For fun, we counted it to see about how much he has and we came to $200 in quarters alone. Then we stacked up the bills and threw the coins in a water jug to haul to the bank.

Life Savings

At the bank, he spent a good 20 minutes pouring the coins into a coin machine. He ended up with $283.41 in coins.

Life Savings

So we took his coin receipt and his bills and opened an account for our little banker. He ended up with about $600 in his account. On the way to the car, he stopped to pick up a penny and dropped it in the empty water jug. Still beaming, he said, “Man, I love that sound!”

Life Savings

Rant: Don’t count on anybody but yourself to make your money.  My parents taught me that and that’s why I’m not a full time blogger. I have a career that pays well and I don’t care how much money my husband makes. I make my own money, buy my own cars, and get what I want when I want it with nobody to answer to but myself. Money is one of my favorite things. I’m happy when I have money in the bank. I want more of it. I want all of it. Fuck all you soul seekers that say money isn’t everything. It’s good for my soul to know that me and my child are not out of groceries if I have a flat or if a tree falls on my house. Try it for yourself. Go make money and see how much happier you are.

Tradition

Advocare 10 Day Cleanse Link-Up

I ordered some clothes from Aeropostale last week. I got them in and tried them on and decided I have to lose at least 5 lbs to fit into them comfortably. So I tossed back a bottle of wine and cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next morning and I saw this link-up….
 
 
Join the Advocare 10 Day Cleanse blogger link-up! Learn more at 
 
 
I’m new here. I’ve never participated in a link-up before, but I am now. This link-up is for a diet. We’re doing a 10 day cleanse to kick start losing pounds before summer. Join, if you dare, and then link up with Raven!

Hangover Tacos

This recipe makes 20 tacos. I roll some thin (we call them pinners) and I roll a few fat (we call those blunts). I individually wrap them so we can heat them up one by one in the microwave or throw all of them in the oven until warm. They must be served with hot sauce! That’s in the How to Be a Southerner Handbook.

Hangover Tacos 004

Hangover Tacos

3 T vegetable oil

1 bag frozen hash browns

2 pkgs. Real bacon bits

3 T Cajun seasoning

1 doz. Eggs

½ c. milk

20 tortillas

2 c. shredded cheddar cheese

Hangover Tacos

Warm oil on a skillet over medium high heat. Brown hash browns in oil according to package directions. Once browned, add bacon bits and 2 tablespoons of Cajun seasoning. In a bowl, whisk eggs, milk, and the remaining Cajun seasoning. Pour into skillet and gently turn mixture with a spatula until eggs are cooked through.

Hangover Tacos

For individually wrapped tacos, layer a sheet of foil, a tortilla, a handful of cheese, and one scoop of hash brown mixture. Close the tortilla and wrap tight with the foil.

Hangover Tacos

They fit nicely in those aluminum casserole pans with lids. This is how I take them on the road.

Printable recipe:

Hangover Tacos